Tips on keeping the romantic flame burning after having kids

VANCOUVER (NEWS1130) – Valentine’s Day is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year but some couple may find it hard to keep that flame burning while raising young kids.

The February edition of Today’s Parent Magazine profiles a number of couples that were pushed to the relationship brink by their kids, but managed to make a comeback.

Kids consume time like nothing else, so make the time you do have count, says the Sasha Emmons, the magazine’s editor.

“You love your children so much but eventually, your kids are going to go off and have their own lives and you need to make sure you still have that relationship when those hardcore parenting years are behind you.”

It is the second child that pushed most of the couples to that brink, says Emmons. “When the second child comes, you just become so pressed for time. It can be just be really hard to find the time for your partner without a little person making a request of you.”

She notes most of the couples turned to counselling to save their relationships, adding the stigma around seeking help is fading.

Emmons encourages couples to make the attempt before it’s too late and the relationship is beyond saving. “There’s nothing wrong with relationship counselling, even a healthy relationship could benefit from counselling. And if you can do it, go for it.”

She adds building in a support system of family and friends can help you find a few extra minutes. “Making date nights a priority, that can be the first thing to go. It feels sometimes like it’s a luxury that not everybody can afford.”

And even if you have to use your calendar to make time, do it.

“Make sex and intimacy and connecting an everyday a habit. Even if you’re exhausted and it’s the last thing you feel like doing, just make it happen even if you have to schedule it. You just find yourself being kinder to each other.”