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New book says New Year's resolutions must be "meant to be" to stick all year

Last Updated Mar 14, 2019 at 9:51 am PDT

(Source: BodyForWife.com)

James Fell says societally-constructed resolutions fall flat because they don't have meaning for you

He says you can train yourself to gain real insight into your values

VANCOUVER (NEWS 1130) – Say, how are those New Year’s resolutions coming along? Not so good, huh. The author of a new book talks about why most of the goals we set on Jan. 1 tend to fall flat by February.

“Generally speaking, goals can be good to start with, but it needs to come from within in terms of an understanding with a sense of rightness, like this is something that I’m meant to do,” explains James Fell, motivation expert and author of The Holy S— Moment:  How Lasting Change Can Happen in an Instant.

“If it’s societally-constructed, where you’re supposed to look a certain way or make a certain amount of money, or do a certain thing, then you’re going to run into problems,” he explains, “because it doesn’t have any meaning for you.”

Fell says for real change to happen, it has to be at a fundamental level, like a shift in values. Quite often it comes from a life-changing moment, hence the title of the book.

“These are things that don’t happen slowly like a tortoise versus a hare, baby-steps approach,” he says. “Usually it’s a very dramatic shift that takes place, often because of some sudden enlightenment, some sudden insight.”

He adds you can train yourself to achieve those insights.

“If you get into that habit of asking yourself tough questions, looking deep inside what your identity is, what your values are, and trying to figure out who you really are [and] what it is that you want out of the rest of your life, eventually that answer is going to come to you.”

The Holy S— Moment is available from St. Martin’s Press.