April Fools’ Day 2019 winners

VANCOUVER (NEWS 1130) – It is April 1st and the usual suspects are once again… suspect. April Fools’ Day always fills your social media feeds (and journalists inboxes!) with a lot of PR stunts and companies like Westjet, McDonalds and Phillips Brewing haven’t disappointed.

WestJet has announced it is set to launch the Flyre Festival, the world’s first premium in-flight music event.

“Since the dawn of flying, humans have yearned for an immersive music festival at 35,000 feet,” says Richard Bartrem, WestJet Vice-President Marketing Communications. “WestJet is giving the people what they want, and the experience will be impossible to put into words. If we could put it into words, those words would be, “world’s first premium in-flight music festival.”

Come for the music, stay for the emotional support pigs.

Not to be outdone, budget carrier Swoop is promising Recline-for-a-Dime seats with a lie-flat option.

“The cost to lie completely flat is $0.90, though travellers can fully customize the amount of time and the degree of recline they prefer, in $0.10 increments,” states an April 1st release.

McDonald’s in Australia has disappointed a lot of pickle fans by admitting it’s new McPickle burger — replacing the meat patties with piles of pickles — is indeed an April Fools ruse.

In Canada, the fast food giant says you asked and it listened — introducing McNugget Singles, available April 1st only.

Locally, Phillips Brewing and Malting Co. says it has “taken the wheel” and is creating the ride-hailing service Phüber.

“You feel that?” yells Chris over the electrified country-rock riffs blaring from the stereo. “It’s the turbo. Most people don’t know about that. It’s money, eh?”

“At launch, Phüber’s driving fleet will consist of a lone 2006 Pontiac Wave known around the brewery as the Electric Unicorn. A narwhal-sized unicorn horn proudly adorns the top of the windshield, with lightning and lasers firing across the hood and along the sides of the deep purple steed,” says the craft brewer, adding that it will be piloted by a part-time warehouse worker named Dave.

The Surrey RCMP is also offering an April 1st initiative, announcing the Finned Integrated Shoal Team or FISHT — “policing support that’s on a whole new ‘scale.'”

Special Constable Gill, a fish, is joining the detachment.

And if you’re looking for a new dairy alternative, US grocer Fresh Express is offering cauliflower milk product Caulk.

It is gluten free, soy free, nut free, meat free, ingredient free, keto friendly and tastes like “clouds pureed.”

Honda Canada may have given us the most Canadian April Fools hoax this year, announcing the polite horn — a gently nudging “ahem” rather than a blaring tone.

It promises to do away with rude ruckus on the road and let Canadian drivers “instead assert themselves passive-aggressively, as is appropriate.”